Wednesday, November 3, 2010
The Scream heard round the world...or just 2 time zones!
Today I posted a statement on my face book page about an incident between myself, and a certain creature from the reptile species. The truth is that I have a serious, serious, serious fear of snakes. This fear was set in me at a young age while watching Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Or was it Raiders of the Lost Ark? Either way, this story would not be possible without the cinematic skills creative force of Steven Spielberg and Harrison Ford.
PICTURE THIS: I was on the phone with the Direct TV lady-who I will refer to as Rose- because our DVR box decided to stop working the night before. She asked me if I could go back to the house and get a code number from the box. Naturally I was willing,so I started on my long journey back to the home....which is probably a few hundred feet from the office. To not waste time, I decided I would jog back. I am sure that Rose was thrilled to hear me panting on the other end of the phone because I had quickly become winded. As I was approaching the house, I decided I would entertain my inner track star by hurdling over the yard border. Once I cleared the border, the trouble began.
Once I landed, I took three more steps before I noticed that I was stepping on a really dark stick. I am not sure why I slowed down, but there I was looking at my foot, that was stepping on the back half of a black snake. Of course, my heart stopped. And I could feel myself preparing to whimper out loud like a lost puppy... THEN IT HAPPENED. As I was quickly walking aways from it, the snake was coming at me! And he was coming fast!!!! At that point, my inner track star was eclipsed by my inner black woman, who decided that the world needed to know what was happening to me. All I could was scream....loud and long! The scream went something like this:
"OOOOHHHH HELP! HELP!ITS A SNAKE SWEET BABY JESUS GET AWAYS FROM ME! AAAAAHHH!! OH HELP ME LORD!"
The scream was also accompanied by me jumping up and down in circles in my drive way! Once I gained my composure, I realized that the snake was no longer chasing me. I think the high pitched screaming ran him off. I quickly looked around to see if anyone had heard my cries for help...alas no one was there. But I think that was a good thing because I was not sure how I was going to explain all that screaming!
As I was walking toward my front door, I could hear a faint voice calling my name. Before long, I realized that in all of this self-commotion, I had dropped my phone on the ground and Rose was still on the line!
Sheepishly, I picked up the phone and responded in my deepest man voice(which is really hard because I am a tenor)
Me: "Yes this is Mr. Gage"
Rose: "Are You okay Mr. Gage."
In that moment, I thought about telling her that I was being chased by a really big dog, but before I could response she continued.
Rose: "Its nice to know that I am not the only person who is deathly afraid of Snakes. Although I don't think I can scream that high!"
Rose: "For a minute I thought I was going have to call 911 to help you. But then I realized that would not be possible because you are in Florida and I am in Colorado."
Me: "Well Thank you for being so concerned."
Rose: (And this is a direct Quote) "Who wouldn't be concerned with all that screaming...I really thought you were being robbed!"
Me: "Well Thank you again...(i think)"
In the end, I was able to make into the house to get the code Rose needed and I alive and able to tell this story.
I don't think there is a message or point to this story...other then the confirmation that I really can scream like a girl, and that I really hate snakes.
If anything, I hope you enjoy the laugh!