Early this year, there was a small group of people at our church that felt like God was us to go through a year long bible study dealing with health and weight loss. This study deals with the emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual side of healthy living. And of course it was designed to help us lose weight as a lifestyle change...not as a quick fix! All of us came to the group for different reasons, but we all knew and know that we have reached a point in our weight loss journey that would need more then what we could possibly do on our own.
Like most programs dealing with weight loss, we had our ups and our downs. During one of our weekly meetings, all of us were having a bad week! We are talking serious weight gains across the board! To lighten up the mood, I came up with this clever little statement..."It's not about falling off the wagon, it's what you land in!" But what exactly does that mean? At first sight, it got a few laughs and even carried for a while as a sign to other members that we were being tempted to eat something that we probably should not be eating. Clearly, the wagon is the healthy living wagon. When we fall - or at least when I fall - I would tend to land in a pit of chocolate mousse, or a bucket of french fries! The list could go on, but the point I wanted to make was that we could pull ourselves up and dust the powdered sugar off our lips and press on and move forward.
So did we press on? Did I shake off the mousse and jump on the tread mill? It pains me to say it but the answer is no! I let the sugar and the fast food get the best of me. I am only speaking for myself at this point; but I let a laundry list of things in my life get in my way and block me from the path I was headed down! The sad thing is, I was making really good progress. To sum it all up, I have gained weight again...and basically have given up on the journey. For the past 4 or so months, I have not been keeping up my end of the bargain, when it came to this lifestyle journey. And even as I am typing this entry, I am replaying the things I should have eaten and trying to forget the things I did eat today!
But I am rejoicing because I know that God has not given up on me! Even when we started this journey, I never realized how much my eating habits and physical stamina, really can effect my ministry! Now let me stop right here and clarify! In no way am I saying that God only wants to use pretty people! What I am saying is that He calls us to give of our best. And if I am stuffing twinkies, pop tarts and who knows whatever else in my face, clearly I am not giving my best to Him. THAT HURTS! It hurts because I want everything that I say and that I do be a reflection of His love and His grace in my life. So when I am going through the drive-thru or I am having a second piece of whatever, there is a part of me that has to twinge because I know there is more...and not just in the food sense.
So today, I am saying all of this because I need to be honest! I need for my group members to know how sorry I am for letting them down! I need my wife to know that this is not her fault that I turned preggo sympathy pains into sympathy eating! Above all, I am approaching His throne with the most humble of hearts. I am coming to Him, because I know that I cannot to this alone. And not just weight loss, its life in general! So maybe I needed to fall off the wagon!
I ask for your prayer because I know the road is not going to be easy! Especially because the holidays are coming upon us! I would ask that you hold me accountable as I head down this road. I know that I am never alone, but I know I need to keep my eyes set forward to the reward he has for me!