Today I begin my 14th day of the fast. Let me get straight to the point and say how difficult this process has been. At the same time, I am in awe of all that the Lord is revealing to me. I do need to confess that I did break the fast on my birthday to tell everyone Thank you for their birthday wishes through twitter and facebook. I did not want to be rude...but I was quickly called out by my good friend Nick. Even though he was joking with me (I think) he said "a fast is a fast." The truth is he is right! I discovered in that moment that we spend so much of our time and energy making justifications...I don't think we realize we are doing it. How many times have we heard people say "I don't have time..." or "I'm to busy..." How many times have you made those statements. How many times have you made those statements when it comes to your time with God? This is was one of the problems I needed to address in my own life. I was able to make justifications for the things I wanted to do and excuses for the things that I could not do or just did not want to do.
To add salt to this wound of laziness I am a reminded of a the story of Abraham and ultimate sacrifice God had called him to make. We know that Abraham was a man that feared the Lord. We know that for Abraham, his life was devoted to serving the Lord. As I was reading these chapters in Genesis this week, I was amazed that Abraham was willing to go, no questions asked. Even though it meant sacrificing his most treasured position. As I father myself, I am asking myself how he did it? After all, he was human...surely he had some doubts as he was climbing that mountain with Isaac....yet, he continued to climb. Of course we know that Isaac was spared and a ram was offered as the sacrifice that day.
As I am walking through this journey, I am learning that it is not about my devotion time, but my devoted life. PLEASE don't misunderstand that statement. I don't want that statement to sound like an excuse or justification for not spending time with God. If anything, that statement should encourage us to spend more time with him. Sometimes, I fear that we have placed devotion time in a box and expect God to speak to us in one hour...no more, no less. It is clear that people learn and process in many different ways and we hear from God in different ways. I encourage you to find new ways to be engaged in His spirit. If we want to live devoted lives for him, then yes, you have to spend time in His word, hearing His voice, and even making sacrifices. If our lives are completed devoted to God, then the "devotion time" becomes some so amazing, and cherished.
As I begin this next week, I am encouraged about what is in store...even though I do not know what it could be. It could be living in the plain (read last blog post) or it could be something exciting. When I compare these small things I am giving up to Abraham (which I shouldn't), I realize two things:
1. In no way are these comparisons equal.
2. I just need to put on my big boy underwear and seek His will, listen to His voice, and go where he leads!